Swimming with emotion…

It’s Monday, it’s 2am and I’m wide awake, I am due at work in 7 hours. I can’t sleep.

I’m laid here, thinking about the week ahead, the challenges of the week ahead. Finally this is it,  after weeks of anticipation, hard work, practice, training and brilliant support from my swim tutors at Swim NE, this is the week I take part in Sport Relief, a chance to “swim myself proud”.

I am already incredibly happy with my progress so far, people tell me I’m an inspiration. I am only an inspiration if I inspire others to give it a go, to get in the pool, or to take up some form of exercise or sport.

If someone, had told me, 10 months ago I would where I am now, I would of laughed at them, yet here I am. Here I am, preparing for Sport Relief, having progressed to ASA stage 8 and swam a mile.

The excitement is beginning to build, I want to do this, no I want to smash this. My sponsorship total stands at £135, my aim was a £100, I thought it would be difficult to reach that. I have been left, humbled, at the overwhelming support and kindness from family, friends friends and collegues.

I want to stand on the side of the pool afterwards, smiling, proud and wearing the “Sport relief medal”, knowing that this is something I’ve worked for, something I’ve achieved. Knowing in doing so, I will have helped raised money for those in need, those in poorer countries, those in our country. It  may be only a tiny amount of the final total, but as a famous supermarket states “every little helps”.

The person, who helped inspire me, who shared his love of swimming with me, who took me swimming as a child, my grandad, won’t be there. He left us, many years ago.

Sadly, he had given up swimming many years prior to my birth, being announced to him in the White Swan pub, where he gone for a rare pint. Though he expressed a wish to teach us to swim, he never was able to. I remember, though, how he described with pride, the fact he’d swim the width of the River Humber as in his youth and I hope, that some of my ability to swim, was inherited from this wonderful gentleman.

This week, and the swim itself, isn’t going to be easy, but as my friend described me “I’m a stubborn, crazy red head” if I can find a way I will. It’s so frustrating, that I’ve worked so hard for this, yet I have no real control over when my asthma decides to “kick off”. I’m already maxed out on meds, there’s nothing else they can prescribe me, currently, to reduce the incidence and severity of exacerbations.

What I do have control over, is how I manage the exacerbation. I’m not going to roll over and give up. I’m determined, if it safe to do so, if my lungs are able to cope with the demands swimming places on them, to swim the 1.5km. Not just for me, but those who have sponsored me, supported me, taught me and for those who will gain benefit from the money raised.

I want smash this!!

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