Well, it’s less than 72 hours to “Sport Relief” and the nerves are really starting to kick in, but I’m excited at the same time.
Yesterday, I had a swimming lesson, it was a great lesson and there’s a post in progress, about it, but first I want to blog about tonight’s training swim.
My throat is still sore, my voice still squeaky, five people at work are now down with it. It’s almost like a role-call each day, as we identify each “new victim”. It’s actually, becoming highly amusing, laughing at each others attempts at communicating, through squeaky, tortured, whispered voices.
I prepared for tonight’s training swim, taking my blue inhaler before I got in the pool. I was incredibly disappointed and frustrated, by the fact I quickly found myself really struggling. A minute, to swim 20 metres…what’s all that about? Five lengths in, had to stop. I started to worry, a 100 metres and I’m struggling. I’ve got to do 15 times that in three days time.
Ten minutes in, my chest was tight and sore. I thought “that’s it, I have to give up”. I conceded, that Sports Relief, was out of my grasp and decided to get out the pool.
Then I thought, “don’t be such a stupid idiot”. I stopped myself, mid-track to the steps, had a think and gave myself a good talking too.
I have been unwell, I am still not great, I’ve had to take time out and I’m still recovering. I had only taken my inhaler, just as I got into the pool, it takes 20 minutes to properly kick in, I’d been in only 10.
I decided, that I needed to stop being a “over-dramatic idiot” and get on with it. There are a lot of people out there, supporting me, sponsoring for me and my friend M is determined to be there for me, despite being barely able to walk herself, she’s planning on getting the Metro over to where I work 10 miles away. Hoe amazing is that?
I re-focused my thinking and set back off, up the pool, short sets, let myself warm up, keeping positive. I know I can do it. Focus on what my tutors have taught me.
After each set, I felt better, stronger, more positive. I can do this, I can smash it! Don’t let the negative thoughts creep in. Times were coming down, 45 seconds for breast stroke, thirty for front crawl.
Feeling happier and more confident, I decided to try a longer swim. I comfortably managed 400m, without stopping. I could of gone further, but I my decision is, to focus on sets of 400m, not to push myself too hard, not to exhaust myself ahead of the “big night”.
I am so glad, I worked my way through the massive brick wall I hit. That I didn’t just look at it and react like “Rex” in Toy Story 2, when faced with the busy road, turn round, give up, declaring “Oh well I tried”. Deep down, I know that if I’d taken that view point, I wouldn’t really of tried, I would of actually given up before I tried. I’m learning more and more, that learning to swim, like I guess many sports, is as much about psychological ability to cope with difficulties as well as physical. My mantra, is becoming g more and more, “I’m nothing if not determined”
By the time I came out the pool, I’d managed a total of 900 metres, I’m really proud of that, really proud.
I’m exhausted now and my balance is shot, I’m really wobbly on my feet. Time to rest, tomorrow I’m heading, back in again. I am not and can not give up.
Following on from tonight’s swim, I received and E mail from swimathon, and news of another sponsor. It was just what I needed, both reminded me of why I am doing this. Why I am doing this.
I will swim myself proud!